Pebbles

For many years before I had children, I would watch shows and read books about child abduction, murder, and abuse. These were very popular durning my early adulthood and for some reason I gravitated toward them. Once I had children, I was constantly plagued with what I had once watched. Late into the early morning I would have played out hundreds of horrifying scenarios that would keep me from living a full and healthy life. This was a battle for me. For years I would lose sleep. I would try and pray and nothing would change. I remember one night sitting up, so exhausted from this routine that went on for as long as I had children. I looked up, with tears in my eyes and simply said, “I need you to be real.”

This was the start of me leaving behind the bondage that religion created, and while at the time I didn’t know I was pursuing sonship, I did know I was entering into relationship.

The first battle I faced was the understanding that I was not battling Satan himself nor one of his minions. That they were far from me, what plagued me was my flesh. Religion had left me enemy minded, for years, I would pray and rebuke and see nothing. I would anoint and fast and would still see nothing. But my cry to the Father was heard, no longer was I praying for God to remove the enemy from my life or to just pacify me with a few hours of sleep. No, my attention was on the biggest hurdle keeping me from the revelation of the Father and a deep relationship with Him, my flesh.

So often we partake and consume of the world and then face battles. When this happens we are so quick to turn and rebuke the enemy and nothing happens. We are rebuking something that isn’t there often times. I want to say that Satan is real and that he does attack. But I also believe that the flesh keeps more from the Father than Satan ever has. We have to change our mindset from thinking about what we can and cannot do. Wanting a set of rules. We are told, we are free to do all things, but not all things are beneficial.

Just the other night, while almost asleep, I started to have intense visions about my children. About my husband and I. I have not watched or read anything that would have sparked this, but these were probably the most intense I have ever had. My old self would attempt to distract my brain. However, that part of my flesh has been put to death and I will not resurrect it.

I looked at the Father, who is real to me now and simply said “My family and I are Yours to keep and this, this is not mine.” I made a motion with my hands of just pushing everything away. Right when I did this the Holy Spirit flooded me with love and thoughts of protection. However, He didn’t stop there, He showed me, myself walking on the beach, slowly picking up pebbles, the more I picked, the faster I would pick up more. The Holy Spirit revealed to me that when we don’t renew our mind with the word we renew it with the world. We revert back to the old man. No one of my knowledge is complete in sonship, we all retain some pebbles and we release and then we pick back up. We need to become aware that much of what we face is not because of the enemy but because of our flesh. We need to realize what areas we are holding onto and do more than “release” them. We need to put them to death.

We fall into temptation because of our own desires. We need to make sure we desire what the Father desires. Even if our desires are good by the way of the world and the way of religion, if we do not desire what the Father desires then it will lead us to walking in flesh.

I have never walked in stress that my mind didn’t take me, we must set our mind on things that are above and renew our mind.

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in You.” Isaiah 26:3

Sonship is not a destination. It is a process and journey of a deepening relationship with the Father. An unveiling of our true identity and walking out what the Father has destined for us.

Morning Thought 6/01

The Sons MUST Surrender

As we purse the Kingdom of God and the transformation into sonship, we have to ask ourselves, “What source is fueling us?” If we have surrendered all, than, we will only have one source, The Father. We cannot partake of the Kingdom of God, if our source is anything other than the Father. Not because the Father doesn’t want to bless all or has a vendetta against others, but because the Kingdom of God cannot exist without the presence of God. It is here that some will say “If God is good than why did this happen? Or if God is good than why doesn’t He help those who serve Him?” The problem with these questions, is they place the Father in the world of the natural. We forgo the Father, and make a man made image of the Father that is rooted in flesh. Not the opposite of being transformed into the image of God, through the power of the Spirit. After we create a god with our natural mind, we began to imitate this fleshly creation, not realizing we are far from the Fathers actual nature.

With this fleshly creation, we then need “help” entering “his presence”. We seek the “high” of the Lord we once felt. Here our desire is not rooted in Spirit, but rooted in flesh. As we begin to seek aids to further our relationship with the Father, we are not realizing that the flesh is committing adultery. We have contaminated the marriage bed, inviting others and objects in, while being deceived into thinking that we are just. At this point we must turn away from our aids and ask the Lord to purify, for if we need someone or something to bring us into the Fathers presence, our relationship has roots in flesh, and flesh cannot lead us into the Spirit. The image of God that many worship is nothing more than a man made god. This god is far from the true nature of the Father. For the Father is Spirit, but because we have been fueled and ruled by the flesh, we couldn’t possible father the Father. Instead of purging our flesh, we created a god more relatable. A god created out of the carnality of man, from the wisdom of man and not the revelation of the Spirit.

From the man made god, we have religions and traditions. To see the Father, we must move from these, from attempting to plan the movements of God, for all these can only causes bondage, and the Father desires us to walk in complete freedom. The reason the Pharisees and Sadducees hated Jesus, was because He broke the laws of their sacred traditions. He only held and kept the Word of His Father. He came as an example, showing that nothing that comes from flesh can produce Spirit. Just like the Pharisees and Sadducees we try and bring the Spiritual and Natural together. Adding one element of Spirit and an element of the flesh. This mixture only causes confusion and adulteration of what the Father wants and desires. We will see the Spirit change, transform, and manifest, but we will never see it partner with the flesh. They have and always will WAR against one another. When this realization comes, let us not work on weaning ourselves from the flesh of our lustily desires, slowly giving up the things of the natural man, but let us completely do away with them. Seeing what is hardening our hearts towards the Father and causing us to not pursue Him, then putting to death these things. We must begin to hear, think, speak, and do what the Father is saying, thinking, speaking and doing.

As we hear the question of the Spirit, “Will you surrender? Will you forsake everything as the old dies away or will you cling to the old because you have poured yourself into it? As the flesh is painfully crucified, will you continue to surrender? Or would you rather be fully flesh because the way of sonship is difficult?” I pray all of us respond to the voice of the Father, for He is calling His Sons forth.

Morning Thoughts 4/21

Growth in the Kingdom

“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” 1 Corinthians 13:11

“You have heard it said to those of old, ‘you shall not commit adultery’. But I say to you that whoever looks at woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:27&28

“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.” John 15:5

“…Let us go into the next towns, that I may preach there also, because for this purpose I have come forth.” Mark 1:28

So much of our growth into Sonship and manifesting the Kingdom can be measured by the responses we have to everyday problems that are encountered. As a parent, I have a desire to see each of my children grow and mature. Not by way of the worlds standards, but by yielding to the Holy Spirit, and becoming obedient to His voice alone. If my husband and I can lead our children to recognizing and respond to the Fathers voice, than our children will be obedient even when we are not around. We will have paved a way for their own unique relationship with the Father to grow and flourish. As our children grow, the expectations that my husband and I have for our children changes also. We expect our five year old to be truthful, to not hit or retaliate to her 15 month old sister, and to help clean up. However, our expectations for our son, is to not pee on the floor.

So many who have been born again, are convinced to be proud of their progress. “I haven’t yelled in days”, “when someone cut me off, I didn’t curse at them”, “when someone said something I didn’t like, I didn’t retaliate”. If this is where we are, we are nothing but babes. We are still dealing with the flesh in such a way as a child. We defend our actions, “well I didn’t hit the man”, but where is our heart? Are we in response to the Father? In order to actually be in response to the Father, we must put to death our self-centeredness and our self-focus. My desire for my children to grow and mature, pales in comparison to the desire of the Father to see each of us grow into Sons. The Father has such a strong desire to see us transform, it is in the transformation that we will have more revelation of the Father and His nature, of His plans and desires. Just as the communication changes and matures as my children grow, so does that of the Father and His matured Sons compared to the babes.

The realization that we are branches has to take deep root. The fact that NOTHING can be done without abiding in Him. How many of us have been doing nothing, thinking it is something. Since nothing can be done without Him, how much of our life has been nothing? Have we been deceived into thinking we are producing fruit? If the fruit we have, has been produced without the abiding in Jesus, than we are not producing fruit at all but merely flesh. Flesh and Spirit rule against one another, they will never be in harmony. No matter how many times man attempts to both walk in Spirit and in flesh or convince others that the flesh is who are or has benefit, it cannot work. It will always be war.

For what purpose have we come forth? And will we be responsive? Will the desire for pleasing the Father, out weigh every other desire we have? Are we willing to put to death the old man without remorse? If we are not, if we still have a taste for the world, if we still desire flesh instead of abhor it, then there will be no advancement into the Kingdom. However, if our desire is that of the Father, if we surrender all, if we look at our life as one that was gained because it was lost, than Sonship will become our identity.

Morning Thoughts 4/18

New Eyes, New Ears, New Man

The world has changed little, it still has its cycles and days, weeks and months. Yet the changing of the Sons of God is profound. They are in the world, but no longer are they being part of the world. The world with all its dazzling offers has lost its shine to those who are the Sons. The words of the world no longer tickle their ears, the lusts of the flesh are no longer worth the set backs they cause, and the traditions of man can no longer entertain them for hours. The cycle of Sunday is like the cycle of the world, same time, same place, same messages about overcoming the man of flesh, same percent, same outline- greetings, worship, prayer, tithe and offering, prayer, message (dealing with the flesh), prayer, final message, band. Across the majority of all Christian denominations this is their Sunday routine, despite all the differences they claim to possess. Yet we have been deceived into thinking that this is the leading of the Spirit. The coming together for fellowship is a wonderful gift, I am not discounting this meeting together for encouragement and advancement. But we are to be lead by the Spirit. We cannot dictate the Spirit, and yet we try.

Nothing, but the Kingdom, will satisfy the Sons of God. Life without it is worthless and mundane. Those who have been change cannot simply go back to life before. The cares of world have lost all flavor. The enemy hasn’t the slightest place in their minds. Why? Because all has been surrendered to the Father, so the Fathers will in their lives will always come to pass. Their battles haven’t been with the enemy, it has been with the crucifixion of the old man and his fleshly ways. The lives of the Sons of God are no longer mundane, they see more than the realm of the visible, they feel more than the flesh of man, they are being elevated and nothing on earth will satisfy the longing they feel, for the Father has called their name. Their longing isn’t for heaven, high in the clouds with wonderful angels singing to the Father. No their longing is for Heaven on Earth. Which is the desire of the Father as well, it will established first within and then through. The desire of the Fathers will cannot be quenched and thus all who are called. Respond. Forsake all for the Father with no regard for self.

Morning Thoughts 4/16

The Refusal to Relinquish

Our flesh urges us to become so consumed by trials, afflictions and the like. If we allow our flesh to rule we refuse to relinquish all. In this place pride is built, anger and confusion are manifested. We were never created to bear the burden of the flesh, the Father never intended for it to be our rule, but to use the flesh as an opportunity to bring us deeper into the knowledge of who He is. If we cannot crucify our flesh and relinquish our desire for control. Than the father can never trust us with the ruling of the Kingdom. As sons we must pursue what the father Pursues, desires what the father desires, and love what the father loves.

Our life is useless and worthless outside of the understanding that the Father has a plan for each of us. Without this understanding, we allow ourselves to be tossed to and fro, expecting life to be this battle of good v. evil, the devil and his army triumphant until Jesus returns, finally defeating the adversary that has won at every turn, until this magical point in history. What a change life would be if we could understand that our biggest battles are not that from the enemy, who according to the Word of the Lord has been stripped of all power, but that of our own flesh. Oh, but how enemy minded most of us are or have been. We move to a populated city and blame traffic and bad driver on the devil, we don’t steward the temple well and blame the enemy for our health, we are selfish, prideful, and lustful but then blame the enemy for a marriage falling apart. WHAT EXCITING HOPE WE HAVE THAN, when we see that we can inherit the Kingdom by crucifying our flesh, not by a constant battle with the enemy.

When we realize, “I am the Father’s, and my life is His to do with as He pleases”, we become aware that the enemy cannot stop the Father’s Purpose in our lives. However, if we refuse to relinquish control and crucify the flesh than we will be constantly waiting for the kingdom to come instead of allowing it to be manifested within our lives.

Morning thoughts 4/6

The Pursuit of Sonship

The blessing and rewards of sonship would be more than enough to convince anyone to pursue the title within their own lives. This is want I think many churches have done. They have announced, long healthy lives, healing of aliments, prosperity, happiness, and a host of other promises. Yet, we do not see this fruit in the congregation. My desire is not to condemn any, condemnation should have no part in any Son, my hope is that we can all grow unto the Lord. The problem with announcing. the benefits of Sonship to those who do not know the Fathers nature and have not heard His voice, is that the only reason one would pursue at this point would be for flesh. However, you cannot be a son of the Father if you desire something other than His will. We do an injustice to those when we do not speak the whole truth of Christ, that is if you desire your life you will lose it, but if you lose your life, it is at this point you gain.

One problem we face in the pursuit of Sonship, is that if we are not submitted to the Fathers will, once afflictions come, we turn back to the old man. If we have no roots, nothing can sustain us during our transformation into Sonship. So many teach exclusion from affliction instead of deliverance and triumph over them. Without affliction we would not grow, our flesh would not be exposed. Without affliction we would not understand suffering, when we suffer we are challenged, we at this point face a decision, to produce compassion which is a characteristic of the Father or we produce bitterness. Bitterness arises when we pursue sonship for the benefits and blessings, if we pursue with the flesh, we can only produce the flesh. It is under submission that freedom is found, and the flesh cannot submit to the Spirit, for they war against each other.

“Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the Lord delivers him out of them all.” Psalm 34:19

“Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for my names sake. Matthew 5:11

To be clear there is noting wrong with wanting all the Father has for us, this desire is the mark of a son, but it wanting what the Father has for us not wanting our own will.

Morning thoughts 4/07

Here You Are

I never thought I would meet you here… in this valley of grief. Yet, here in this place I have found a deeper nature of Your love than I could have ever fathomed. Here you are, in my deepest pain and greatest grief. As I mourn, You are shifting me into praise. As I come to understand the term lament, You are there. Father, as I don’t understand and ache, as I feel a part of me is missing, You are my restorer.

As I find myself wanting to stay in the valley of grief and pain, the Spirit moves me to see that I am just passing through. And yet, I have to decide if I will move before I get the answers I long for or if i will trust you, if I trust my Father enough to keep going. I didn’t realize that you could face such pain without losing hope. I didn’t realize that I could lament without walking in disbelief. You are still good, You have always been good, Your purity never was questioned.

Then as I leave the bed of grief behind, the accuser comes. I come face to face with guilt, fear and hopelessness, they were only distractions for a moment. But, this pain is consuming. Then I hear you whisper “Lay it before me”, as I pour forth my heart with tears and walling, You didn’t question my faith, You didn’t judge my posture of grief. You wept with me. You showed me how to lament in victory. You released me from the belief that pain and grief could only be felt because of unbelief. You showed me there is no shame is lamenting.

Father, keep me in this place beyond myself self, beyond the nature of flesh, where you are molding me, making me anew piece by piece, where without understanding there is an assurance of Your faithfulness. This place where the knowledge of Your nature refutes every lie and strong hold that tries to exalt itself against you Father. Where every though is in obedience to the nature revealed in Christ.

In this place Father…

I came face to face with Love, transforming me into compassion.

In this season of mourning, I found unfathomable comfort.

Surrounded by incomprehension and chaos, You gave me peace beyond understanding.

In this place Father…

You are here.

And that Father is enough for me, for Your presence is what changes me

Kingdom Vs. Flesh

Facing many trials in this short month brought me to a place where my faith was almost non existent. I have cried more in this past month than the past year combined. I have never felt lower nor have I ever become so controlled by my emotions than this past month. It was here in my struggle for faith, when I felt like I was falling and grasping for anything… That I felt the Father say, “Write what I tell you down, I will walk you through this and you will help others through.” So I quickly go sit down and wait.

Then I hear three questions.
What causes faith?
Why do we lack faith?
Why am I not walking in faith?
Before I can answer I hear; “Write down what you are feeling right now.” As I go to write down what I am feeling I hear “BE HONEST”. So I began to make my list.
*Fear
*Anxiety
*Embarrassment
*Offended
*Bare
*Frustration
*Anger
*Confusion
*Empty
*Depression
*Abandonment
*Resentment
*Bitterness
*Victim
As I stare at my list, of all the emotions and feelings that have come to an all time HIGH, I hear; “Now circle which ones are from me.” Not one. Not one, emotion or feeling, could I attribute to the Father. Here I am walking in this turmoil… walking in the flesh.

Then I am asked two more questions.
-Whose Kingdom am I called to?
-Whose kingdom am I operating in?
You cannot operate in fear and faith, peace and anxiety, you cannot walk in sonship identity and embarrassment, frustration and love, in forgiveness and resentment, offense and freedom, in depression and joy, adoption and abandonment. What truth it is. We cannot operate in the Kingdom of Heaven and the flesh of man simultaneously. They contradict themselves.

Again, I am asked the first three questions.
As I answer Him on the first, I say Faith by hearing the word of God. I then hear; “BUT what else?’’ I’m thinking… well and doing the word of God. Then just like that a scripture enters my mind, Romans 12:3.
“… as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith.”
We receive many things from the Lord, we must decide if we will cultivate what He has given us, submitting to His will, believing that the faith allotted to us will; One, grow. Two, it will be enough measure to see us through. During this time, I felt the Father say, “If you submit to me, the measure of faith I have allotted you, will see you through.” We need to understand that faith is parallel with submission.

When I began to reason the second answer, I had to really stop and mediate and seek the word for the answer that I couldn’t find and wasn’t hearing. I feel that most often, we do the opposite of Proverbs 3:7, and we become wise in our own opinions. We do not follow the words of Paul in Hebrews 11:11 or 1 Timothy 4:10. If our hope isn’t placed in the Father, resting elsewhere then where can we place our faith?

Lastly, I believe that when situations arise, wether trials or tribulation, we respond in flesh. If we continually respond by flesh, we will not allow the Kingdom of God to be made manifest within us. For flesh has no inheritance in the Kingdom. The full manifestation is reserved for the Sons of God. We are continually told to PUT TO DEATH the old man in all his workings.

The last question was a bit harder for me. I had to address much of the flesh I still choose to operate in. For a fact, if we are not walking in faith, we are not walking in the Kingdom. The Kingdom cannot be obtained by the flesh of man, it is only when we put to death the works of the flesh that we are inheritors of the Kingdom without end.

The Peter in Us All

John 13:37&38

“Peter said to Him, “Lord, why can I not follow You now? I will lay down my life for Your sake.” Jesus answered him, “Will you lay down your life for My sake? Most assuredly I say to you, the roster shall not crow til you have denied me three times.”

I believe the most telling and insightful revelation of this encounter with Jesus and Peter comes from the two scriptures before. Where Peter asks Jesus where He is going and Jesus respons by answering where I am going you cannot follow me now, but you can follow Me after.

In so many ways our flesh is like Peter in this encounter. Our flesh tells us that we will miss out and in turn our flesh speaks without the leading of the Spirit, our flesh speaks out of our own strength rather than relying on the Father to equip us to fulfill the works He has predestined us to. But then again, our flesh is more than willing and eager to walk out works that were never ordained by the Father. When you operate by flesh you see the world differently, you have the expectation of the natural with no revelation of the spiritual. Your mind is not geared towards the Fathers kingdom coming and His will being done on earth as it is in Heaven. Your mind is locked into the things of the natural because you are being governed by the flesh. The flesh cannot operate nor inherit the Kingdom.

Before Peter speaks out of flesh, Jesus has already told him, you SHALL follow me afterward. When we learn to rely on the timing of the Father, we are not dictated by the circumstances that surround us, for they hold no place of influence. If Peter would have just held to the truth that Jesus spoke, flesh would not have entered. But, Far too often their is a lack of trust toward the Father and the victories Christ has gained on our behalf. I find it interesting that if you recount the gospels, Jesus will either answer Peter according to his flesh which has spoken, explaining that he cannot accomplish what he has set out to do, or Jesus answer his spirit pointing out that it was a conclusion that he could not have come to on his own but received it by revelation from the Father.

What wonderful answers we gain from this encounter. How comforting it is to know we already have a seat at the table. Not obtained by flesh but by crowning Christ as king and allowing Him to reign and rule our life with obsolete power.

The Choice of the Mind

Far too often I see myself and others falling into being enemy minded. If we aren’t steadfast in correcting this, being enemy minded can become a form of bondage. Not only will it restrict what we can and can’t accomplish, but we can find ourselves praying against what the Father is doing and trying to bring about in our lives. Throughout our day how much of everyday life do we attribute to the enemy? Traffic, bad drivers, rude people, slow service, frustrations at work, being tired, grumpy kids. When we are enemy minded we are empowering that which has already been defeated through Christ. When walking in enemy mindedness, most often our first thoughts are directed into the flesh; then our response is not one of freedom and sonship, our response is one of bondage. Freedom cannot be found when empowering the enemy freedom is found in Christ, and directly when Christ, is King.

So then, the question becomes, what is the solution to being enemy minded?

First and foremost, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” What happens when this becomes our first response? Worry has no place! And, if worry has no place then the enemy has lost one of its strongest forms of bondage. When seeking the Kingdom, the Spirit will reveal to you which parts of your life do not fall in line with the message that Jesus taught. It is at this point we must decide if we will continue to operate outside the kingdom, or bring everything that is revealed under the dominion of the King.

Second, we must, “set our minds on things that are above not on things on earth”. Why should we do this? We are told that “If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God.” I will suggest to you, that if your mind is set on Christ as King, then it will be impossible to remain enemy minded.

Lastly, (this is not an exhastive list but what I feel is most beneficial right now) “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete lacking nothing.” I don’t see a way for this scripture to ring true if we are enemy minded. It is here, where if we are enemy minded that we can actually be praying against what the Father is trying to do in our lives. We have to come to terms then, if we live in the Kingdom, then what we encounter has been allowed by the Father to quicken us into Sons of the Kingdom. It would be difficult to think the nature of the Father is loving while being enemy minded. One response to trials is joy, while the other is of flesh, and flesh can produce NOTHING of use for the Kingdom.

Here in this place of peace, where Christ rules and reigns, we get the option to operate. If we chose to operate here in this place of peace, we are “anxious for nothing”; while we undoubtedly will experience some suffering as Paul did we can say with confidence that whatever state we are in “to be content” because we “can do all things through Christ who strengthens.” With the knowledge “all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the according to His purpose.” For each suffering we experience, it is the putting to death of flesh that remains in us, until every part of us comes under the will fo the Father. While in whatever storm or trial, let our eyes not wonder from the King.