“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” James 1:2-4
“Rejoice in hope, patience in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer” Romans 12:12
“And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” Galatians 6:9
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your request be known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6&7
Oh our blessed third baby, the newest arrival to the Hatten clan, the baby I like to call the patience baby. This would be because my third sweet child had colic. I did not know what frustration and sleep depervation truly were until this beautiful bundle continually keep me up, Every. Single. Night! Just like clockwork.
February 9th 10:30 pm. 2017- By this time bundle number three has been screaming crying for two hours, this is not her first night, this has gone on for about a month maybe a little more. I’ve lost count. Every night, right around the same time, I have an inconsolable baby. Handsome man is at work… still. He is putting in more hours then he ever has, so I don’t text him to vent all my frustration. Sweet little One and Two are also crying. They are tired, they want to sleep, we live in a trailer no matter where I go they can hear the screaming baby. It feels like 28 outside. I have no where to go. I start to ugly cry. I’m sobbing so hard my kids are scared. I’m exhausted. I’m alone. I can’t do it. I have no idea why God would think I could handle this or three kids. Then I start to plead prayer, when that doesn’t work I start to bargain prayer… Father, I’ll never get frustrated with them again, I’ll have my time with you every day, I’ll pray with Matt every night no matter what time he gets off… blah blah blah. Needlesstosay that didn’t work either. I start to panic, I’m assuming sleep depervation, recovering from having a baby, and Handsome man’s LOOOOONG hours have finally caught up with me. It feels like a dam in my mind broke and has become flooded with irrational thoughts. Thoughts of failure. Thoughts of depression. Thoughts of the enemy.
I’m so thankful for a faithful Father, one who is steadfast. Even through all my weakness and failures, I have a consistent strength so far beyond my own self that I can rely on.
Nothing quite drives you into the arms of the Father like delreium. I had been studying in James on and off for around six months prier to my rush course in a colicky baby. Let me state this, I do not in any way believe that Father gave my sweet one colic, but he did use the situation to my advantage. Through this difficult situation I can now look back and see the good fruit that it produced in my life. The changes that occurred in me and in turn our family. In this past year I can say that I have grown more in patience than all my pervious years put together. Through these long nights where your child is inconsolable and you end up pacing for hours on end, with absolutely NO lights on, there really isn’t a whole lot that can be done. I remember crying and all three of my kids crying because everyone was tired, the handsome guy was at work, so it was just me when I was in the mists of a breakdown, I felt a rush of peace, and my mind stopped focusing of the impossibility of the situation and reminded myself that this is temporary.
The most difficult aspect to change in a situation Is your mindset. Your mindset will determine the outcome.
No matter what mountain your are climbing on this journey of parenthood, remember, it is temporary. It will not last forever. The Father is always faithful and He can use whatever state you are in if you will surrender it to Him.